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On A Wing, Prayer and The Change I Found In My Couch Cushions: Observations From The Trenches
By Terry M. WestHello there, moviemakers. My name is Terry M. West. You may remember me from such celluloid classics as Sexy 6th Sense, Witchbabe and the upcoming sure to be a crowd pleaser Lord of the G-Strings.
I don’t know if what I have to say here is something that would be beneficial to anyone interested in producing independent films. Surely, there are many out there whose opinions you might cherish and whose insights might be much more enlightening than my own.
So the purpose of this article isn’t my attempt to convince anyone out there in B-Independent land that I’m the end all be all of information. I have been an independent filmmaker for close to four years, and I’ve already seen the game change on several levels. My work has also been viewed favorably by many and I have had the benefit of major distribution here in the states as well as overseas. I have worked on almost 30 movies, in one capacity or another, and I have learned something from every film shoot and continue to learn.
My purpose with this column will be to point out the things I have run across in the business. I have made mistakes and discovered hidden secrets, been the target of murderous rage and have harbored some of my own, I’ve compromised, when I haven’t had to, and sold myself short when I shouldn’t have and I have turned on the ego when I haven’t gotten my way.
In short, I have learned it all the hard way, and I am still reading the introduction. There are things no film school can teach you. This is the way of the guerilla. To start with, I thought I would just mention some random tidbits. There isn’t a specific topic here. Just whatever is rattling around in my head or screams for release.
You may disagree with my views to the point where I have to get a restraining order. Just remember: These are my thoughts. Opinions are like assholes and some of them really stink. If I’m telling you everything you already know then… hey… how did you gain access to the deep dark recesses of my mind?! I am not going to bother with the basics, because if you frequent this board, you most likely know them.
KNOW YOUR ROLE
The biggest mistake a filmmaker makes is the habit of trying to do it all. You know, running the camera, holding a light and propping a boom precariously between the legs all at the same time. Get help. You must have a proper crew. Put up notices at community colleges. Take out ads and be very specific about the work load and the pay (if any). If there is no pay, don’t worry (though I do recommend at least a token pay)… there are plenty of people out there looking for a reel or filler for a resume. There are many people out there who want to break into the business or maybe they simply want to contribute to the process and getting coffee and picking up an actress would be an honor for them. Just be very frank if there are budgetary limits and don’t make promises you can’t keep. Also, never offer a back end deal or deffered payment unless you know you can deliver (i.e., have a distributor on board). Even then, I recommend having a finished product without expectant fingers in it. Let’s be realistic… we ain’t Hollywood folks. We eats with our hands and wipes our mouths on our sleeves and that cement pond is sure refreshing on hot summer days. A deal you get might not yield as much as the big boys, and having folks with no realistic grasp on the finances involved could result in, at the very least, hurt feelings. At most, lawsuits. At the very most, a severed horse head in your bed when you wake up…
GET THE NUDITY FIRST!!!!
Okay, here is one that I absolutely have to attribute to Lloyd Kaufman, who, whether you love him or hate him, has probably forgotten more than most of us know about this business. If you have blue scenes in a movie and even if your actress is the most popular stripper at Shake It World and she has been arrested for public nudity numerous times, get the sexy stuff done first. I have seen it happen, folks. I have heard horror stories about directors being forced to compromise after investing thousands of dollars because an actress has a change of heart, and knows she has you over the barrel. Get the sex and nudity first, and be very open and frank with actresses and don’t sugarcoat what you expect of them. Don’t put an actress on the spot by soft selling the product. It is your responsibility to make sure your talent knows anything and everything expected of them, and having a actress (or actor) walk out on the first scene is a hell of a lot better than having to eat a big shit sandwich with a toothpick and olive stuck in it.
DOING FAVORS
If you are forced to rely on the kindness of friends and or strangers to help you make your movie, make sure they are people you can kick in the ass if they jeopardize the project on the pretense of “hey, I’m doing you a favor.” If someone opens their mouth and says that, after costing you a solid day of work because they woke up late and decided that they weren’t going to get your sound person, actress and gaffer to set on time, they shouldn’t be doing you a favor. Don’t endanger relationships that go above and beyond your production. And don’t let a well-meaning but undedicated friend screw the pooch.
FANTASY VERSUS REALITY
You must absolutely be willing to separate yourself form the real world during a shoot, and expect the same of your crew and talent. Everyone’s head must be in the game. This is a delicate operation, and you need everybody on board. I’ve seen people sleepwalk through productions because of a problem totally unrelated to a project. Pull that person aside. Welcome to the most demanding part of being a filmmaker. Not only do you constantly have to reassure talent through every shot, you now have to listen to their pain, offer a shoulder to cry on, and come up with the wisdom a therapist who could pay off a mortgage with the sessions involved couldn’t. You’re a babysitter. You’re a good cop. You’re a bad cop. You are whatever it takes to get these people to play make believe with you. And, despite the aggravation, you’ll love them for it, because you’ll realize that you are a better person for it.
Well, that is all my tortured mind can rake to the surface. If you want more inane time wasters, let Mr. Richards know. And I welcome any and all questions and death threats at: