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BANGERS
Produced by Ross Marshall
Written and Directed by Walter WebsterAlice - Stephanie Beaton
Miss Kit - Kitten NativadadBANGERS is that type of movie which actors leave off their resume, even b-movie actors. It's a movie where the embarrassment runs so deep that even the audience feels the shame. When the credits rolled, I wasn't just embarrassed for star Stephanie Beaton and what she was subject to for all for the sake of a paycheck, I was embarrassed for myself that I would have to admit to viewing this wretched mess.
As my usual readers are well aware, it's rare that I ever trash a film outright, let alone sink so low as to call it names. Just to clarify, I'm not labeling BANGERS a "wretched mess" due to anything like subject matter. I call it that because the story lacks any coherency whatsoever. The filmmakers don't even try to hide the fact that they weren't the least bit concerned with making a quality film. This movie flows with all the rhythm of an epileptic seizure.
And since I brought up the topic of subject matter in the previous paragraph, I have to be honest, BANGERS is hands down, the sickest, most vile movie to which I've ever subjected myself. In fact, the very thought of having to relive any moment from this putrid case of misogyny sickens me to the core. There isn't a single redeeming character or situation of note.
The original title for BANGERS was ZOMBIE NINJA GANGBANGERS. I know this because it's listed on the cassette itself. Just below those words you'll find another alternate title, ZOMBIE GANGBANGERS?
You starting to get the picture yet? You see what the filmmakers are focusing on?
How about I give you another clue...
What sicko mind would subject the beautiful Stephanie Beaton to 80 minutes of gangrape by the living dead? What really burns my toast is that the filmmakers seemingly want the viewers to think that poor Stephanie is deserving of the atrocities that come her way.
No one is deserving of rape. No one.
As Alice, Stephanie plays Alice, stripper by night, hooker by late-night. We don't find this out though until the character is introduced after 10 minutes of bad go-go dancing from girls who are never seen from again. Usually a movie's padding is in the middle, not before the opening credits.
Alice works for Miss Kit, and before I go on, yes, Kitten Nativadad does get naked and shakes her cans for the camera (if the rape didn't turn your stomach...). The usual b-movie lowlifes fill the bar night after night, all looking to degrade poor Alice. Some succeed, while others are two stupid to realize that if only they forked over that 20 spot in the first place they ... yadda, yadda, yadda. Why am I even trying to bother sorting this movie out? I'm wasting your time as much as it wasted mine.
How about I tell you few better ways to spend you money?
1- A shattered-glass enema
2- Howard the Duck Special Edition DVD
3- An assassin to blow your brains outI can't, for the life of me, think of a way to improve this movie other than burning the masters. What's sad is this one is in my own personal collection. I pray that you don't fall victim to the same ad text that I did.