 |
 |
|
|
 |
 |
EARTHDOOM!
By David Langford and John Grant
BeWrite BooksIn the mood for something so outrageous, so epic, so wildly funny, something so common, but yet filled with personality that it reads differently, so differently that it is addicting?
"Earthdoom!" is the book for you.
The world is going to end, but not in a flash; it will be long and slow and take millions of lives in the process. The main concern is an antimatter comet heading straight for the sun that will set the Earth off, but that is just the tip of the iceberg; throw in some melting polar icecaps, werewolves, vampires, the loch ness monster, chemical warfare, terrorism, and alien invasion.
Through these chains of events, we are introduced to and suffer with a group of individuals who try to save the world.
Up in space, Colonel Bart Malone, a closet homosexual and brazen American astronaut, and Adrianna Dimpla, Russian cosmonaut, run a parallel course with the comet, intending their doom as well. Can Dimpla stop the comet and ward off Malone''s sexual harassment?
On Earth, Junior Finkelstein, a 6 year old who has premonitions of "Earthdoom!," puts together a Think Tank of doctors and scientists who could save the world. There is his mother, Nadia, a Nasa boss; Mark Tampion and Lise Pranther, mathematicians trying to decode an lien message; Gwyntor Bjorstrom, a climatologist; Lucious Apricot, a drunken particle physicist; and Al Bran, a psychologist; to name a few.
Then there is Adolf Hitler who has escaped into his time machine back in 1941 to the present (1991) where he begins cloning himself to form the 4th Reich with the help of Farmer Loam''s cattle cloning machine.
Oh, there is also Death who wanders around and a race of aliens called Cygnan.
As you can see, this is a very busy novel, but really quite simple in plot. The authors manage to keep their head on the ground and not forget what they are trying to accomplish: as wacky as the end of the world is, it is still scary as hell.
The heart of the novel lies in the 2 dimensional characters'' simplicity. Mostly, the men are sex starved idiots even though they have powerful and intelligent positions in their career, and the women, although extremely beautiful, are intelligent and often manipulating the men. This dynamic often had me rolling with laughs and shaking my head in disbelief; and art that is tough to pull off and I''m sure it is something that you have to be born with.
Sharp, witty dialogue, overblown imagination, and just plain fun, "Earthdoom!" is a hell of a ride.
Review by Mike Purfield
Critical Raves for Mike Purfield's "Dirty Boots."
"If you're looking for a good read, something you've never experienced before, then this is the book for you." Paul Kane of Terror Tales.
Rated 3 out of 4 by Unhinged Magazine.
-Click the cover to find out more-