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ZOLIN: A ROCKIN' GOOD WIZARD
By Barry Ireland
BeWrite Books, UK 1-904224-19-9
Trade $15.39Every once and a while, an imaginative mind comes along that is so uncensored, so unconventional, and so colorful that it creates a book like no other. Recognizable worlds are used and abused into something we have never seen. Barry Ireland is the owner of that mind.
The novel opens up in a middle age where Kings rule the land, dragons are real, and wizards are in unions. King Maharad has a problem: Queen Agathia is an ugly pain in the ass and bumps are brewing out of the plaster in his bedroom wall around the mirror. Carpenters can't fix the lumps so he calls upon the help of a wizard Excru to not only help with the lumps but to somehow make the queen hot, chancing a dangerous spell that could harm the Queen. The wizard attempts to fix the problem with the lumps around the mirror, but instead manages to push Queen Agathia into another dimension, switching her with a young woman, Angelica from 1969 England who claims to be a descendent of long lost royalty but lives low class in the suburb. Sound like trouble? Nope. Angelica is beautiful and, most importantly, a hot piece.
And so starts the fun as the story switches from the Medieval time and the lives of a carpenter named Ajax and his involvement with a British rock band called Krome Karz fronted by Robert Platt. The two times mesh at the end where the characters try to stop the Interdimentional Membranes from causing harm to the universes.
Just because Zolin is in the title, don't be fooled. He is not necessarily the main character, nor would he be the hero. A hilarious and bizarre cast of characters executes the story, giving everyone their fair share of forwarding the action and cracking jokes; even the horses in the King's stable have their say. (Quite epic).
I found Zolin to be low in plot, everything that happens seems to happen because of outside circumstance, a higher power and not by the characters, but it is very high on character and humor. All the characters react very realistically to events created by this higher power, figuring the events are for the worst: the end of the world or the releasing of demons into their world.
Does it happen?
Yeah, like I'm gonna tell you.
There are some truly priceless bits of dialogue through out the book, causing me to laugh aloud (a rare event for myself). The best scenes are between King Maharad and Excru and Angelica, and the convent of horny nuns lead by Sister Marilyn who trap the members of the British rock band Krome Karz and Ajax for their own sexual pleasure.
Fast-paced, truly bizarre, and...oh, did I mention freakin' funny. "Zolin: A Rockin' Good Wizard" is a wild time and I look forward for Barry Ireland's next book.
Review by Mike Purfield
Critical Raves for Mike Purfield's "Dirty Boots."
"If you're looking for a good read, something you've never experienced before, then this is the book for you." Paul Kane of Terror Tales.
Rated 3 out of 4 by Unhinged Magazine.
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