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BREAKFAST WITH THE COLONEL
Produced and Edited by Glen Kinion and John Harden
Written and Directed by John Harden
Director of Photography - Glen Kinion
Jack Sorenson - Peter Struble
Colonel Casper Mach - Erik J. Chipchase
Sheriff Byrne - Capt. Tedd Peck
Ed - Tim KahleDeciding on a movie deserving of B-Independent.com's Underground Film of the year award is never an easy task. First, one has to decide whether a movie is truly "underground." What that means is open for interpretation, but for our purposes "underground" is anything ultra-independent that aspires to be more than what it is, a movie. It's where the filmmaker tells his or her story by any means necessary. Points are earned for heart and intellect, but that extra effort of technical polish doesn't hurt.
Over the years, of the 4 films deemed worthy of that Underground Film of the Year title, 3 have since found distribution. I'd like to think that had something to do with this site, but the truth of the matter is that the movies were all deserving of distribution regardless of this site's award. Those past winners are all quality movies that help illustrate what shot-on-video cinema can achieve. It was just a matter of time before someone took notice and believed in those movies as much I did to the point where they were willing to share those movies with the public.
I'm proud to bestow this year's title to BREAKFAST WITH THE COLONEL, a movie that shows the same kind of independent spirt as past winners MEAT MARKET and THE HITT-MAKER blended with the ingenuity of winners RADIO FREE STEVE and NECROPOLIS AWAKENED.
As with MEAT MARKET during the year of its release, I found myself comparing all 2003 screenings with BREAKFAST WITH THE COLONEL. Sadly, none were as fulfilling on either intellectual or entertainment levels. Stories were either padded or lacked soul, and by-the-numbers formulaic storytelling dominated the narratives. Filmmaking partners Glen Kinion and John Harden understand how to build a scene and keep things short. The 80 minute feature moves faster with more life than most shorts I've screened this year. More importantly, Kinion and Harden have produced a movie that's about something more than just the plot and examines societal issues and reflects their views as artists.
BREAKFAST WITH THE COLONEL dances to its own satirical beat. Kinion and Harden create a filmic universe of a near-future universe that's wholly unique and strangely plausible, and it's Kinion and Harden's attention to detail that sell the satire completely. Consider the "Watch It, Buddy" posters that litter the city, they're a cross between the Bob Dobbs branding and 1984's Big Brother is Watching politics. They advertise the Colonel's morning talkshow, while at the same time warning the public not to screw up. The penalty for breaking the rules is Lifestyle Enchancement, a program where individuals are broken down and forced to become good citizens that start each day with a shave and a cup of coffee.
It's that attention to minutia that also helps define the characters and their public perceptions. There's the Colonel's attempts at off-handed ghetto slang which disgusts his producer; Jack's constantly waving middle finger and his "go to hell" mantra that shows those around him he's more loser than rebel; or Ed's fixation on macaroni and cheese that provides my favorite throw-away jokes stemming from Jack's disapproval. Each character is so happily at home in their skin that their capriciously oblivious to those immediately around them.
Jack, our hero, is that most perfect of all movie creations, the walking contradiction. He's a Gen-X slacker who fancies himself an armchair rebel, but he's more armchair than rebel. He talks big about joining the revolution, but his only act of defiance comes from desperation rather than conviction. He's independent but relies on his father to survive. He thinks he's smarter than the sheep around him but can't figure out how to beat them no matter how hard he tries. He's a loser in the truest sense of the word as he lives in a self-indulgent now that is only burst as he's lying on death's door.
Filmed in 1994, but released recently after nearly a decade in post-production, BREAKFAST WITH THE COLONEL reflects that era when the Clinton presidential era was "repairing" America from 12 years of Republican reign, but in truth the movie is more timely today with the "terrorists loose, freedom rules" creed spouted by the Colonel and marketed on sports bottles. Thoughts of George Bush Jr.'s handlers come to mind as they make war politically correct in sound bites, slogans, and catch phrases. The movie possesses that timeless quality regarding its satire that hopefully future generations will compare to their own political climates.
As a reviewer, I hate to reduce myself to marketable slogans, but when it comes to BREAKFAST WITH COLONEL and its razor sharp satire and blistering wit, I find myself wanting to quote the Colonel's own posters, "Watch it, Buddy." This truly is a movie deserving of the title Best Underground Film of 2003.
Original Review from April 2003
The last micro-budget movie I've seen that was as inspired as Glen Kinion and John Harden's BREAKFAST WITH THE COLONEL has to have been Scooter McCree's SHATTER DEAD, a movie that's not to dissimilar from BWTC. Both are satirical examinations of current societal norms placed in fictional "what if" contexts meant to illustrate just how fascist things may become if modern man continues down his same path.
Where SHATTER DEAD is a horror piece with darkly sexual overtones, BWTC is all comedy. But the light tone doesn't let BWTC loose any of its potent bite, the message still rings across loud and clear..
Jack Sorenson is a slacker of the highest caliber. Pushing 30, he's done absolutely nothing with his life. And in Pacifica, a segment of the western United States coastline currently under Marshal Law and controlled by Colonel Casper Mach, work is of the highest order. After a series of misunderstandings, Jack is sentenced to societal reprogramming geared to reacclimate him with the populace.
Think A CLOCKWORK ORANGE done as an Adam Sandler comedy.
All he has to do is show up for work on time and stay away from the bars and women for a year. After that, all rights of citizenship will be returned to him and Jack will deemed functional again. Like many of today's criminal programs, the societal reprogramming is structured around a Three Strike rule. Jack, who thinks he's much smarter than he actually is, doesn't take long before he's well past that third strike and on the run from the Colonels' gestapo.
The Colonel himself is an interesting character. Who would have thought that dictators needed spin doctors and handlers? Equal parts George Bush Sr. and Colonel Sanders, The Colonel is in the process of improving his public ratings by hosting a live morning news program meant to show him as an Average Joe...granted that's an Average Joe surrounded by armed bodyguards, but an Average Joe none the less. He almost comes across as someone who lucked into his job after the last dictator keeled over during Cousin Larry's bar mitzvah.
With every good dictatorship comes an underground militia trying to overthrow the warlords. With his neck in the noose, Jack spends a good part of the movie trying to join the militia's efforts and bring about the end of The Colonel's reign. What happens when Jack finally takes the leap is one of BREAKFAST WITH THE COLONEL's greatest moments and shows just how willing society is to grasp onto any media blurb without raising a single question.
Fortunately, BWTC raises those questions for those too shy or too shallow to do so themselves. Moviemaker's Kinion and Harden don't shy away from the big picture, nor do they sugar coat the truth. BWTC reflects a world not to different from the one we live in now if only a few minor details are changed, and that's the scariest part of it all. A few more turns for the worse and we'll all have BREAKFAST WITH THE COLONEL.