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CAN’T STOP "THE ROCK"
Produced by Shawn Hunt, Franklin E. Wales, and Christopher Kahler
Directed, Taped, and Edited by Christopher KahlerFeaturing:
David "The Rock" Nelson
Franklin E. Wales
Janet Lynn
Forrest Akkerman
Conrad BrooksThe long-winded midnight ramblings by Chicago-native David "The Rock" Nelson are the stuff of convention legend. The Rock, as he’s known by his "fans", a nickname that dates back to his boxing days, is famous for his ability to chime on and on about nothing in particular. In 2004, I was hosting a filmmaker panel discussion at a con called Scary Camp in Dayton, Oh. I had no idea that Rock was in attendance, and had never formally met the man, but that didn’t stop him from crashing the panel and taking the stage with the invited guests. In the panel’s 30 minute slot, Rock took up 15. Trying to wrangle him in without being rude requires someone of infinite tact. I’m not that man.
Chris Kahler’s CAN’T STOP "THE ROCK" tries to shed some light on the b-movie world’s most manic oddball. Centered around a sit-down chat between Nelson and Florida author Franklin Wales, who noticeably uncomfortable at times. I recognize his expression easily and can relate to his pain. I’ve been there, trying to contain Nelson and keep him focused. It’s a lost cause. The little motor mouth, continuously wired off of cookies and "hot java coffee", is like a hummingbird on crack who could out-nerd the Killer Nerd himself, Toby Radloff. I’ve once heard Nelson described as "touched," short for "touched by the angels," a mid-west expression meaning retarded. Others have said that he "just took too many headshots as a boxer" to explain his uncensored stream of conscious speech pattern as if a right cross could magically make "tact" disappear.
Contrary to either opinion, the man is literate, strangely eloquent, and always has a distinct point of view. Most off all, Nelson is comfortable in his own skin and relishes the chance to talk about his fringe endeavors which includes being "the new Eddie Wood of the future, and beyond that even." The truth of the matter is that Wood was a far better filmmaker than Nelson could ever hope to be, as reflected by clips included in the documentary and trailers on the disc. If you move in the circles of no-budget cinema, or, amazingly enough, caught one of Rock’s appearances on Chicago’s superstation, WGN, airing parts of his infamous DEVIL ANT movies which consist of Nelson throwing his stuffed ant at people and videotaping the event. With their hand-drawn artwork, Rock gets $20 a piece for these. He’s on his third one.
The question to be asked is if Nelson is interesting enough to be the subject of a documentary. It’s possible, but I’m not sure if CAN’T STOP "THE ROCK" is the right type of documentary vehicle. Nelson is much too hyper for a sit-down interview, and it’s hard to tell if what we see is a marketing persona or the true David Nelson. There are stills from Nelson’s time in the military and footage from his movies, but viewers never get a true sense of who the man is; which I believe they would if the filmmakers observed Nelson in his native environment - his home. Interviews with his friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, or even other convention folk would help paint a better picture of what makes up Nelson. The most telling moment occurs as a throwaway during the final credits as Nelson’s former co-star, Conrad Brooks, seems annoyed that Nelson won’t get away from Brook’s convention table. How annoying must you be for Conrad Brooks to not want anything to do with you?
The only thing that genuinely comes across in Kahler’s movie is Nelson’s pure love for b-movies. His happiest moment in life appears to be when his favorite magazine, Scary Monsters, wrote an article on him. In his trademark rabid style, Nelson tells us about his first film experiences, both as a film-goer and as a filmmaker (AT about 7 years old, Nelson and his neighbor made the DEVIL ANT predecessor ANT DEVIL). The love carried through Nelson’s entire life, but it wasn’t until the passing of his brother that Nelson inherited the Hi-8 camera that, along with a now infamous stuffed ant, would wreck havoc at conventions all across America.
Nelson’s movies really are as low rent as you’ve been led to be believed. Consisting of in-camera edits with production values limited to Walmart Halloween costumes, it’s zero-budget moviemaking at its most ernest. That being said, they are also a reflection of Nelson’s passions and thus genuine art. I was once told of a story where Nelson was in the midst of one of his late night rants where someone asked him if he thought his movies were any good. Avoiding a direct "yes" or "no," Nelson spent nearly an hour on how his movies were his art, an extension of him, and beyond conventional judgment. That sort of argument goes far beyond anyone "touched" or punched one too many times, and I only wish moments like that were included in the filming and editing of CAN’T STOP "THE ROCK." It would have helped give the movie some needed life.
While it might sound like I’m being overly hard on CAN’T STOP "THE ROCK," it isn’t a complete failure by any means. Merely, it’s a documentary whose ambitions are surpassesed only by the Ed Woodian dreams of its subject. What I mean by that is that the documentary aims to illustrate a subject that’s beyond its limited means. The aim is high, but the result falls short. At the risk of turning a bad pun, CAN’T STOP "THE ROCK" can’t stop The Rock long enough to show us how this man interacts with the world around him. Nelson’s movies come closer to hitting their intentionally low-fi mark than the movie does at revealing the man. At its best, CAN’T STOP "THE ROCK" is the perfect example of a "near miss."
The dvd contains a number of trailers for Nelson’s non-ANT pictures, including HOUSE OF WEREWOLF and SISTER OF THE WEREWOLF. There’s also a bizarre segment titled "Janet Speaks" that’s just the opposite as Nelson attempts to interview his girlfriend/co-star and only receives one word answers. Uncomfortably surreal doesn’t even begin to describe it.