CATHOLIC GHOULGIRLS

Produced by Jason Robinson
Written, Directed, and Edited by Eamon Hardiman
Director of Photography - Lance Steele

Kasey - Ally Melling
Becky - Vanessa Kessinger
Maria - Megan McDowell
Scott - Lance Steele
Frog - Johnny Pubis

In my review for Eamon Hardiman's RAZOR SHARP VOL. 1, I refered to the movie as "a lot o' nothing." Afterwards Eamon sent me a polite e-mail stating that he wished I'd used that line in my review for his next project, CATHOLIC GHOULGIRLS. Well, there you go Eamon, I aim to please and there's your boxquote.

Truth be told. CATHOLIC GHOULGIRLS is a bit more than nothing. Unlike those shorts in RAZOR SHARP, there's an actual story here. Zombie invade Hicksville, West Virginia and some catholic schoolgirls do a little ass wuppen'.

As the movie unfolded during a screening at Twisted Nightmare Weekend in Cleveland, Ohio, I often found myself the sole person laughing during the screening. This isn't uncommon, I often find myself the only person laughing during a number of movies: GREMLINS 2, NAKED GUN 2 , THE EXORCIST, etc... I just have a strange sense of humor that finds almost anything funny. At one point my viewing partner, Jason Santo, looked at my tear-filled face in stunned disbelief. He was amazed I was enjoying the movie as much as I was.

In all honesty, CATHOLIC GHOULGIRLS is not a good movie, or at least one that I would recommend anyone purchase. It's an amateur production with enough bad sound and edits to make PLAN 9 look like CLOSE ENCOUNTERS, but it's easy to see what Hardimon was trying to do - make a live action comic book.

Hardimon's disjointed pop-culture-laden writing style would lend itself nicely to comics, and CATHOLIC GHOULGIRLS would work much better in that medium alongside titles like FATHOM or TOMB RAIDER. The fanboys would eat up a comic about top-heavy girls running around in white shirts and plaid skirts as they faced off against the forces of evil during the current apocalypse. With Buffy gone, there's a hole to fill and this could do the job nicely.

Unfortunately, CATHOLIC GHOULGIRLS is not a comic, it's still a movie that I'm forced to review. And there's no worse feeling than having to write a negative review for a guy you like. But the sad truth is that it's hard to call CATHOLIC GHOULGIRLS a movie rather than the half-hearted attempt it is. Actors stumble through dialogue. The editing doesn't match. The effects aren't much more than ketchup and spit. And at one point an entire scene was missing. That's just sloppy craftsmanship and there really isn't any excuse.

I promised myself and my readers years ago that I would never trash a movie due to the technical quality alone. It's the themes that are important and Hardimon does fill his movie with plenty of subtext. The hard-drinking Catholic schoolgirls personify teen angst and the overwhelming need to spread adolescent wings as the realization that a future pumping gas is getting closer and closer. The hard-drinking good ol' boys represent lost dreams as the people who could never make it past their factory jobs to get out of town. And the zombies themselves are merely those that have accepted their fate. When viewed in this light, CATHOLIC GHOULGIRLS is on the same social wavelength as George Romero's DAWN OF THE DEAD. Both Romero and Hardimon use the zombie genre to explore the problems they see plaguing their environment.

As a backyard production, CATHOLIC GHOULGIRLS is fun movie with a witty sense of humor that is only rivaled by the brilliant PERVERT GOES HOME. These are the kinds of movies traded by backyard cinema enthusiasts. As a production to be paid for, I can't recommend it due to the volume of hate mail I'm sure to receive from people feeling duped out of their hard earned cash. At one point Hardimon placed his short film ESCAPE FROM THE DEAD on the internet for download. That's really the way to go with this one. It will hit a broader audience and allow everyone a good laugh while setting them up for the next Razor Sharp production.

The DVD comes with commentaries, deleted, and behind the scenes footage, but none were available for review.

Official Ghoulgirls Website

Other Reviews:

The Screaming Stoner