GLADIATOR EROTICVS

Written and Directed by John Bacchus
Produced by Joseph Ned
Edited by George Freeway

General Eroticvs - Darian Caine
Clitoris - Misty Mundae
Dickus Minimus - John Feedel
Debbie Rochon
Victoria Vega
Jade DuBior
Katie Jordan
Esmerelda Dellarocco

I would love to know whose body they used on the cover of the DVD. After subjecting myself to numerous Seduction Cinema titles, I can honestly say that Darian Caine just doesn't have any abs. Here body is soft, nowhere close to the rock-hard specimen standing proudly on the box art. If no mix and matching was done with body parts, then Michael Raso must have done some serious Photoshop retouching, Misty Mundae looks like she just got a new pair of implants.

I was actually warned against the one by a friend a while back. He muttered something about this being the biggest sh*tstorm to come out of New Jersey since Kevin Smith went to Sundance. For what it's worth, I like Kevin Smith and I like GLADIATOR EROTICVS. GE is nowhere close to its Seduction Cinema predecessors, but it still gets the job done.

Darian Caine is Roman General Eroticvs. (For the illiterates, there was no "u" or "w" in the Roman alphabet, nor were there "v" or "j" sounds. Julius Caesar was actually pronounced something like "Ool-e-us Kai-sar". If you want to learn more, go study that useless language, Latin, for 5 years like I did.)

Wait a minute…what am I doing? There's no point in going into the plot. If you've seen Gladiator, you know the plot of GLADIATOR EROTICVS. All you have to do is substitute rather tame lesbian sex in for the battle scenes.

For the most part all the girls have been in prior Seduction Cinema releases. What little new talent there is present is just used in filler sex scenes and wasted. From fresh blood would be appreciated.

While I have no confirmation, it looks like the Seduction Cinema guys went all out on this one and shot 16mm. The film has that ugly, muted, washed out look that only 16mm can provide. Between the budget and the day-rates for the girls, this had to be SC's most expensive project to date. Why the money was spent on relatively tame softcore flick, I'll never know. Maybe it was help secure foreign sales. It's not like SC doesn't move enough of their titles domestically, they're in more stores than Warner Bros. (okay, that last one is an exaggeration. It only "seems" like SC titles are in more stores than Warner Bros.)

I want to make you aware of a few inaccuracies printed on the DVD. There is no trailer vault, only a single trailer for GLADIATOR EROTICVS. Also listed is a bonus featurette with Misty Mundae and Esmerelda Dellarocco , along with a behind-the-scenes documentary. You get the beind-the-scenes documentary, but only a 4-minute interview with Misty by herself. Not listed is another interview with Debbie Rochon that runs about 3 minutes. After past SC releases have gone out of their way to give the consumer more bang for the buck, this disc is a let down. Oh hell, at least you get loads of tame lesbian sex to make up for it.

Seduction Cinema
EI Cinema