LORD OF THE G-STRINGS

Produced by Michael Beckerman and John Bacchus
Written and Directed by Terry West
Edited by George Freeway
Director of Photography - Giorgyorgy Benaskovich

Dildo Saggins - Misty Mundae
Horny - Darian
Spam - A.J. Kahn
Smirnof - Michael R. Thomas
Bar Maid - Ruby Larocca

As the spirit of J.R.R. Tolkien spins at high speed in his final resting place, we now must examine that satire that has been thrust upon us by the gang at Seduction Cinema. That's right boys and girls it's THE LORD OF THE G-STRINGS! And we follow the trail of three little Throbbits, Dildo Saggins (Misty Mundae), Horny (Darian Caine) and Spam (A.J. Khan), as they make their way across diddle Earth. As they battle the Dorcs and the evil wizard Sourasse, they are helped by the drunken wizard Smirnoff (Michael R. Thomas). They must throw the G-String into Party Pooper Volcano to destroy it's evil.

Okay, as spoofs go this one probably took a minute and a half to write. But I'll bet it was a blast. Every possible low brow joke from the wizard Sourasse using farts as his weapon to the final destruction of the G-String being reduced to handing it to a janitor for disposal at Party Pooper Volcano. Add to that computer graphics that look like they were lifted from a warped episode of The Wiggles and you've got the best satire on the works of Tolkien since The Harvard Lampoon published "Bored Of The Rings".

Terry West has earned our forgiveness since his abysmal SATAN'S SCHOOL OF LUST also from Seduction. The film moves at am quick pace, combining the lesbian antics we come to expect from Seduction with a sharp wit missing from many of their productions. Michael R. Thomas as Smirnoff is especially funny, but it's Misty Mundae who steals the show. She gives us the Misty Mundae school of acting that we've grown accustomed to, but she's gone beyond that. She genuinely looks like she's having a good time. Add a rare heterosexual scene for the Seduction Cinema poster girl and you get a performance that makes this a repeat viewer.

Sure, it was all shot in some one's backyard forest. Yeah, it's still shot on video. Yeah the production values probably equal the price of a good used car. But, it doesn't matter. The script is witty. The girls are gorgeous and there's no skimping on the sex scenes. When in doubt or the plot starts to wane throw a few girls on a tarp in the woods. Now that's good cinema.

The DVD also comes with a documentary of the film that actually shows what a good time the cast and crew were having along with the obligatory previews from the vaults of Seduction Cinema. Forget buying that special edition of THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RINGS. Get this instead. It's half as long and twice as entertaining.

Seduction Cinema

Review by Arthur Cassidy