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LOVECRACKED
Journalist - Elias
LOVECRACKED, the BiFF JUGGERNAUT Productions "anthology" of tales based on and inspired by the work of H.P. Lovecraft suffers from multiple personality disorder. On one hand, it's filled with excellent shorts containing all that "dread" Lovecraft enthusiasts rave about and the next it's MAD magazine drawn by crackheads with attention deficit disorder. It's heard to review a movie that suffers from this sort of psychological disorder; one personality I truly like and the other grates on my nerves about as much as those punks who talk on their cell phones during a movie.
The glue holding the various shorts and vignettes together deals with a nameless investigative Journalist looking into the Lovecraft phenomena. The joke is that he's the world's worst investigative journalist. When we're first introduced to our intrepid hero, he's standing in a shallow kiddie pool with a fake bat floating next to him held up by a visible string. He's quick to point out the no-budget flaws of this "gloomy and foreboding swamp "set, which spoils the fun. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink isn't exactly fun when it has to be spelled out for the audience. A rule of thumb by professional comedians is that if you have to explain it then the joke is already dead.
One of the running jokes that the Journalist keeps running into is the relative obscurity of Lovecraft. During one of his early on-camera monologues, the Journalist mentions that there's no real proof Lovecraft ever existed outside of his name on a few cover pages to novellas and short stories. Between the short films, the Journalist tries to interview everyone, and anyone, he can think of that could possibly have something to say on Lovecraft no matter how far removed from the man the interviewee might be. The Man-on-the-street turns out to be a lunatic, his "super-duper" mother, and even Troma's Lloyd Kaufman, playing up his "clueless Lloyd schtick," who does his best to turn every topic around in a way to hock Sgt. Kabukiman paraphenalia in a very Bill Shatner-esque moment of inspired self-parody. No one, no matter how much the Journalist pries, can come up with anything valid to say of Lovecraft.
If looked at through a modernist cinematic perspective, it's possible that the short films could validate the existence of Lovecraft. In an existentialist sort of way, Lovecraft has become a cult figure whose visage has been shaped through the years by a collective fanbase that wants to believe in the man, his work, and the mythology associated with his writing. The adaptations add to the development and importance of Lovecraft as a concept, if not a man, by giving the words three-dimensional life. If the work can have life, then so must the man - "I think, therefore I am."
Of course I'm reaching for something I doubt was ever intended. LOVECRACKED is a movie that aims to have fun with Lovecraft and his fanbase, and not to place Rosencrantze and Guildenstern at the Mountains of Madness. Those familiar with the man and his work will "get it," those that aren't, won't. That's not so much a criticism as an observation regarding potential sales.
While the wrap-around won't do much good as a primer on Lovecraft, the shorts work well enough to give potential readers an idea as to what they'll be in store for if they choose to read further.
Jane Rose's "The Statement of Randolf Carter" opens with a nice montage of eerie atmospheric images. Viewers soon find two men prepairing for an expedition into an abyssal of hell. Old man Warren ventures down while Randolf Carter man's his post at the hell mouth. What ensues is a humorous spin on Lovecraft's "indescribable" Old Gods scenario.
Justin Powers' "The History of Lurkers" substitutes deviants and perverts for Lovecraft's intended creations. The inspired water into wine results unfortunately wear out its welcome quickly.
Ashley Thorpe's "Remain" is one of the more ambitious shorts in that it involves stop-motion animation. The experimental piece finds a man painting a demon's face on a wall which comes to life, speaks to him, and eventually sends the man to his doom.
Tomas Almgren's "Bug Boy," featuring a grotesque birthing scene, concerns an old lover's inability to deal with his ex-girlfriend's impending nuptials. The most effective short of the bunch, this could have actually used a few more minutes to drive home the brutality of the ending.
Brian Barnes' "Witches Spring" finds the beautiful red-haired pagan Rhiannon out to steal a man's heart, literally. Predictable, the short works primarily due to the chemistry of the leads.
Simon Ruben's "Alecto" finds the life of a violinist flashing before him. More then the other shorts, "Alecto" perfectly captures that classic Lovecraftian sense of dread.
Grady Granos' silent black and white "Chaos of the Flesh" is the perfect Lovecraftian short complete with twist ending. The shortest in length, the film wastes no time getting to the point. The quick pace adds to the punch.
Doug Sakman's "Re-Penitrator" is a soft-core spin on Herbert West's legendary misdeeds featuring busty hottie Joanna Angel. What more do you need to know other then those phallic glowing neon syringes aren't injected into the back of the head? How about that there's a hardcore cut if you do some internet searching?
Brian Bernhard's "And this was on a Good Day" is a Rob Zombie-esque animation featuring plenty of cartoon body parts and fluids. It's Lovecraftian in the sense that the song is sung by an animated Lovecraft and features Cthullu squid monsters. The visuals are inventive enough to hold viewer's attention and sick enough to please hardcore horror fans.
Most of the time, the Journalist will punctuate the shorts with some sort of insipid act of randomness. Usually having little to do with the previous short, these segments reach for lowbrow humor. On two occasions, the lines between the shorts and the Journalist are erased resulting in the most memorable moments of LOVECRACKED. In "The Corpse and the Camera," we find the Journalist dead on the sidewalk. Recreating a Keystone Cops-era slapstick short, the body if found and rolled by a vagrant. The piece plays upon the theme of bodily defilement.
Even better is "The Outsider," which begins as a visual poem. Lovecraft's words are spoken over gothic images of ancient stone castles. The camera floats through the castle halls and openings, and the results mirror the essence of the dialog. Passing as a legit short, the film takes a left turn when the wandering camera stumbles across the Journalist relieving himself on a stone wall. It's not the potty humor that makes the episode so memorable, but what comes next. To cover his actions, the Journalist immediately stammers about the ridiculous notion of Lovecraft being abducted by aliens. The joke eventually culminates into what can only be described as a live action South Park.
Humor is subjective and unfortunately I don't necessarily share the sense of humor of the BIFF JUGGERNAUT Productions' crew. If I had, I might not have found LOVECRACKED so uneven. Also, I'm not the world's biggest Lovecraft fan, far from it. I've always found the works derived from his source material to be far more interesting than anything he ever wrote. Had I been a bigger fan, it's possible I would have liked the faux-documentary aspects that bookend each of the short films showcased within. To me, those shorts deserved better, but a true Lovecraft man might appreciate what I couldn't.
The dvd contains a number of extra features that include additional shorts and music videos as well as a blooper reel.