PRESIDENT'S DAY

Produced and Written by Jimmy George and Chris LaMartina
Directed and Edited by Chris LaMartina
Director of Photography - Joe Davidson

Barry - Bennie Mack McCoy IV
Officer Kennedy - Ryan Thomas
Joanna - Lizzy Denning
Chelsea - Nicolette Le Faye
Mr. Wright - George Stover

Four score and seven mutilated bodies ago, the ghost of Abraham Lincoln descended upon a group of teenagers running for Student Counsel President and delivered upon them the Evisceration Proclamation whereby those deemed not worthy to hold office will face the full wrath of our 16th President, and full-bodied dismemberment. And yes, watching Honest Abe plant an axe in someone's head as if he were splitting logs is just as funny as it sounds.

Fortunately for us, director Chris LaMartina's derivative, albeit extremely enjoyable and polished, slasher-comedy, PRESIDENT'S DAY, doesn't rely solely on Abe for its humor. LaMartina casts stones at the entire political spectrum, and one would have to be as moronic as President Dubya to not get the broad references. While LaMartina has always been vocal in the microbudget film community about his liberal views, here he's more an equal opportunity offender poking fun at both the right and the left.

Our hero, young African-American skateboarding every-slacker Barry Olsen (a not so vailed reference to Barak Obama) finds himself jungle fevering (a southern right-wing no-no) over recent tough-girl transfer Joanna. To win her favor, as all boys do, he follows the woman of his dreams into high school politics (or whatever uninteresting pass-time she may have). Competing for the top prize is a who's-who of two-dimensional caricatured miscreants straight out of the HEATHERS school of filmmaking ranging from the goth chick to the stoner to the school mascot - the Lincoln Lamb (yes, the students are literally lambs to the slaughter, and not just sheep who follow the heard of popularity). And then there's Chelsea, the obligatory red herring and the heir-apparent of Lincoln High, whose uber-bitchness is accentuated by her dimwitted twin toadies Jenna and Barbara. Chelsea, not at all like her Clinton namesake, lives and breathes for her eventual coronation as Student Counsel President, and if she had her way it would be complete with golden tiara, royal scepter, and Barry as her royal pissboy.

Where as most young microbudget filmmakers only cast their friends, LaMartina and Producing partner Jimmy George actually cast adults in adult rolls, and that in itself is pretty refreshing. It's nearly impossible to make a movie in Baltimore without casting George Stover, and he's as goofy as ever as a lascivious teacher with an eye on the ladies. Where most of the cast, both adult and teen, and especially Stover, come off ham-handed in their character's broadly comedic eccentricities, Ryan Thomas turns in a strong and natural performance as Officer Kennedy, head of school security, and prime Abe suspect. During one quite scene where Kennedy allows Barry to ditch class and hangout in his office, we get the sense that rather than trying to be an authority figure, Kennedy's more a big brother with a genuine affection for this kindred soul. They both possess that same sort of laid-back everyman attitude, and it's easy to see Barry growing into Kennedy if he doesn't motivate himself just a little harder.

When Kennedy finds himself partnered with local cop Kurtz who is more concerned with Krispy Kremes rather than the murders at hand, Barry takes it upon himself to clear his friend and Encyclopedia Brown the real killer (I'm not kidding, and I'm willing to bet dollars to bear claws that this particular reveal was lifted straight out of EB #4: EB GETS HIS MAN). In PRESIDENT'S DAY's second biggest plot-hole*, Barry is able to maneuver through the mystery and its numerous set-pieces without ever becoming a suspect himself. One of the biggest traps of the slasher formula, and one that LaMartina and George fall prey to, is the need to ignore logic to get to the conclusion - in other words, otherwise stupid characters do stupid things to further the plot, like get killed, except for our hero who's obviously the son of Zeus and blessed with the ability to escape death whenever the plot needs him to.

When LaMartina and George aren't allowing themselves to get caught up in the trappings of formula, their script shows some real wit and observational humor about high school life. Being only a few years removed from school, the two still have their heads wrapped around the idea that teens are smarter than adults and can pinpoint all the bullshit in the adult world and make us feel like jackasses through sarcasm - and God bless them. There's a scene that sums up this idea perfectly concerning the concept of diffusion, and it's only a teenager who would turn this into a discussion on flatulence, but when he does it's pure comedy gold and reminded me what it was like 20 years ago to prove to a teacher that I wasn't nearly as dumb as they thought I was.

PRESIDENTS DAY is just the sort of movie I would have watched 20 years ago, when the slasher genre became self-referential and started to make fun of itself. LaMartina and George know just how silly and nonsensical the image of Abe Lincoln taking an axe to paraplegic's legs can be, but they run with it anyway because irony is only lost on fools. There's no envelopes being pushed here, and no new ground covered, just an exploration of the idea that horror can be fun, and in this post 9/11 era where torture and suffering is all the rage, fun is a welcomed gift. PD is also the sort of production I'd like to see more of where no-budget filmmakers aspire to make their films look slick and professional; where a camera can do more than pan, tilt, or fall over. In the decade since I started B-Independent, my sensibilities have changed regarding production value and how it relates to a film's worth, and that's mostly due to the democratization of digital cinema leveling the playing field for everyone. With the knowledge available, there's no reason a digital production's visual stylings can't match it's intellectual depth, or even excel, which is the case here. If you want to see how to make a no-budget horror that delivers blood, boobs, and beast in a perfectly executed package, this is it.

*you might be wondering what the film's biggest plot-hole might be. Well, 90% of the murders could have been avoided if the school was shut down. There's a throw-away line about it being a logistical nightmare to send the kids to other districts, but in reality the school would have been shut down completely if not for anything else than to let the kids mourn the tragedy. Again, this is a slasher-comedy, so take it with a grain of salt...

Editor's Note: In fair disclosure, here is the director's response to my assumption that a school would be shut down should an axe-wielding maniac decide to murder a number of students:

Since Allen's a friend and we have an open dialogue on film projects in the past, here is my response to the plot holes...

1.) We did our homework. My mother was a former public school principal and I had lengthy conversations about the realities of something like this happening.

It is sincerely a logistical nightmare to handle the displacement of at least 1000 high school students in a small suburban town. Similarly, an actor on set, who himself was a high school police officer, explained that while security would be beefed up... (like the entrance of Detective Kurtz and the security cameras in PD), they could not simply shut down the school indefinitely.

Where would the teachers go? Would they relocate as well? Are fifty jobs just destroyed and kids forced to bus half an hour away to a dozen different schools? What if the killer's a student? Does another high school just transfer the killer?

It would NOT be easy... also... not mention... many of the murders in "President's Day" aren't discovered as "murders" til much later (they are simply missing) and a bunch were done OUTSIDE of the school.

2.) As for Barry as a Zeus figure, well... it's a movie. People don't cry foul when Indiana Jones survives miraculous circumstances or when Bruce Campbell attaches a chainsaw to his stump.

"President's Day" is a movie about a maniac in an Abe Lincoln costume killing teenagers. How realistic do we NEED to be? Cuz if we were "realistic", it would be torture porn, and as you cite in your review, I think it is time for a fun movie experience again. I set out to make a popcorn movie. It's not "Zodiac" in a high school.

I guess that's it. Thanks, Allen. Love you!
xoxoxox
- Chris LaMartina
director, "President's Day"
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