RAZOR SHARP VOLUME ONE

RAZOR SHARP VOLUME ONE
Written, Produced, Directed, and Edited by Eamon Hardimon
The short films contained on Eamon Hardimon's compilation RAZOR SHARP VOLUME ONE can be taken two ways - one, the cinematic equivalent of "flash fiction" in that the vignettes are so short viewers are left to decipher their meaning and point based on tone, context, and emotional transferance with the audience, or, two, pointless drivel geared to capitalize on the attractive hottie on the cover.
"The Chase," is just that, a chase...sort of. It's more a metaphorical chase in that we never see who's chasing the actor around his schoolyard. One could argue that it's adulthood trying to catch up with the young man, or perhaps he's trying to leave his youth behind, but reality demands that logic be taken into consideration when the compilation is viewed as a whole. So let's be serious, it's more like that first Film Production 101 project, "a simple human act." In this case it's a man running around his schoolyard.
"The Dead Hate Chores" deals with a young man's hatred for daily chores, you know, those things that our parents told us would build character....I wish someone would have told that to Hardimon.as there's absolutely no character development to speak of. The previously mentioned young man takes out the trash and is attacked by a zombie. Feeling more like a stolen scene from a much bigger project, Hardimon would have done himself a favor by submitting the piece to Rick Popko's upcoming zombie-jamboree, RetarDead.
"Die Rabbit! Die!" finds a curvaceous cutie terrorized by her stuffed rabbit. The damn thing just won't stay on the couch. Picture Chucky from Child's Play done with no money, plot, brains or point. The devil's advocate in me says that like the other shorts, this one deals with the death of childhood innocence. The lead must kill the one thing that binds her to her youth if she ever wants to reach adulthood. The reality's advocate in me doesn't buy it. I'm 31 and I still keep my Kermit the Frog on my bed, even took it to college with me. That thing got me laid. You don't give up your youth, it's what makes you an adult.
By this time you might be seeing a trend in Hardimon's reference to juvenile activity. The chase from adulthood. The mindlessness that results from obeying our parents orders without question. The death of one's adolescence that results when it's time to release that which we covet from our youth. Well, his sense of auteurism is thrown out the window with the fourth short, "Riboflavin."
"Riboflavin" finds a young male wondering through his home where dopplegangers recite the word "Riboflavin." At one point we see a box of cereal sitting on a counter top. Since cereal is fortified with Riboflavin, also know as Vitamin B2, I assume that it's the vitamin that creates the hallucinations, although, as webMD puts it, B2 is a water soluble vitamin and an over abundance is easily excreted in urine. It's impossible to OD on B2. The short is like a wart on Eamon's ass in that it lacks any function other than to annoy its host's meaningful squat time.
"Detour" wasn't written by Hardimon, not that it matters, it's still a whole lot ‘o nothing. A young man stops at a rest station. There's a mysterious figure who pops in and out of frame once or twice....and then they young man leaves to make a call. Sorry boys and girls, but even I can't B.S. an explanation for this one. This is the most directionless one of them all.
Hardimon shows some nice camera technique with a strong sense of composition. Now he just needs someone to write a story he can follow through with to make a decent movie. Individually, these 5 short films don't amount to much other than....say....15 wasted minutes that could have been spent more constructively by placing my genitalia in a pencil sharpener....