SCIENCE BASTARD

Produced by Shannon Hale
Written and Directed by Scott Phillips

Science Bastard - Devin O'Leary
Skunk Ape - Mike D'Elia
Mr. Jasper - Bob Vardeman

Scott Phillips' SCIENCE BASTARD is like pure heroin for pop-culture junkies designed to give even the most casual fanboy a geek-orgasm of Cindy Margolis proportions. I mean, seriously, how can you not find some sort of enjoyment in a movie whose video sleeve loudly proclaims its selling point as "watch Skunk Girl get clean."

Did I fail to mention that Skunk Girl is a cutie? For that matter, all the girls in SCIENCE BASTARD are cuties! It's like damned comic book, there's not an unattractive gal within a 10 mile radius of the damned viewfinder. It reminded me off all my visits to Canada. Things got so bad that we actually started hunting for unattractive women. Eventually we gave up and came to the sad realization that we were never going to score in Canada.

Mexico was a different story all together!

Okay, all kidding aside (truthfully, events in Mexico were just as sadly pathetic as Canada), the comic book assessment of SCIENCE BASTARD isn't that far off. It reminded me of GRR'L SCOUTS' Scott Mafood's creator-owned work. That same acerbic sense of sugar-drenched hyper reality that dominates his comic material permeates through in SCIENCE BASTARD, a tale about a lonely nerd who gives up on life only to discover his destiny as a superhero through self-trepanation. With Euphoric visions of a Mr. Wizard wanna-be dancing in his head, and a rather phallic drilling spinning compensatingly from his wrist, the Science Bastard sets out to rid the world of aliens and other-worldly creations, such as his arch-nemesis, the dastardly Skunk Ape.

And in case you couldn't put two and two together, Skunk Girl would be the sidekick to Skunk Ape. Do you ever wonder why superhero's have young boys as sidekick's while villains get the girls? Maybe Joel Shumacher wasn't such a bad choice for BATMAN after all.

Director Scott Phillips is the writer behind the recent Full Moon releases HORRORVISION and CRIPTZ, two films that have led to their respective director Danny Draven taking some unnecessary heat for their misogynist tone. So, in hopes of scoring with some nerdy girls at the next Alternative Press Expo*, let me be the first one to point fingers at Mr. Phillips. He writes ‘em, he's to blame. You crucify his ass and maybe I can move in on Skunk Girl.

SCIENCE BASTARD runs about 30 minutes, and I hope it's the first episode in what could easily become a cult hit among comic fans on the internet. It's tone is so light and goofy that even watching intestines get torn asunder becomes highly amusing. The last time I laughed at something like that was 15 years ago when I first caught THE TOXIC AVENGER. Guess what? I liked SCIENCE BASTARD more.

*Yet another place where I've struck out numerous times. Can't even get with the nerdy girls.....damn, that's pathetic. Where's my drill???

Exhilarated Despair Productions