SPLATTER RAMPAGE WRESTLING

Produced, Directed, and Edited by Andy and Luke Campbell

What the hell? These boys are insane!

How does one even review something like SPLATTER RAMPAGE WRESTLING? What's the point anyway, this kind of product is review-proof. Kids beating the hell out of one another is all the fans want and that's exactly what they get.

The Masked Marauder, Sherbert, Skulls, and Mic Flash are just a few of the crazy kids jumping off their Ohio houses onto boards layered with thumbtacks and barbed wire, smashing plates and light bulbs over each other's heads, and ripping apart foreheads with cheese graters.

See, I told you these boys are insane. Totally in-f*cking-sane.

I don't care how many disclaimers you place at the beginning of conventional wrestling and extreme sports shows, kids are going to try the stupid stunts they see on television. It's a strange right of passage some teens take in order to climb to the top of the social food chain. If you can't keep up you're labeled a "pussy" until you prove yourself. High school is hard enough, but try doing it while being labeled a "pussy". You'll quickly understand why Columbine occurred.

When I was a kid we didn't suplex each other from the roofs of our houses onto trampolines, we walked 15 miles over mountains and through the snow in bare feet so we could shoot at each other with our pellet guns and .22 calibers.

Okay, I'm lying, we wore Nike's and rode bikes, but we honestly did shoot at one another.

What dumbasses we were! Granted, we were all expert marksman who participated in regular competitions, but one flinch, cough, sneeze, muscle spasm later and one of us could have died. I remember my pal Wayne Corely falling through the second floor of an abandoned house onto scraps of rusted sheet metal as Lenny Hawkins unloaded round after round only inches behind the hauling-ass Wayne. I thought Wayne was a goner that day for sure. That might have been the last time any of us shot at the other.

The kids in SPLATTER RAMPAGE WRESTLING try to crush each other's skulls in on a weekly basis. Kids all across America are doing the same thing. The producers of other backyard wrestling programs have said they have so much footage submitted to them that they can release a tape a month for four years solid, and that's just highlights from the better matches.

These SPLATTER RAMPAGE boys were their scars like war medals on a proud general's chest. Maybe it helps them score with chicks, I really don't know. Letting a pellet gun rip into Wayne's ass didn't help me any. Maybe people in Ohio really are so desperate for entertainment that they'll settle for a chain-shot to the head, but I can't really understand how that will help things down the road when they're called forth to utilize their now scrambled grey matter.

In a society that glamorizes stupidity and synonymizies it with brazenness, it's easy to understand why videos like this and BUM FIGHTS are so popular. It touches something primal in our collective psyche allowing us to transfer our own pent up aggressions. The results can be cathartic, or sometimes terrifying. I often wish I had the balls that the SPLATTER RAMPAGE boys display, but I know I'm well past my prime. A short ass-kicking is probably all I could muster, the days of prolonged beatings are long gone.

I'm not really sure I want to see another SPLATTER RAMPAGE WRESTLING dvd. As hard as it is to watch the carnage unfold, it's even harder not to stare transfixed. I'm not sure what that says about me, but I don't like it. I liked watching Sherbert beat The Masked Marauder with a baseball bat. Maybe I like this video just a little too much.

Tempe Video