THE BARE WENCH PROJECT 2: SCARED TOPLESSWritten, Directed, and Produced by Jim Wynorsky
Director of Photography Chuck Cirino
Edited by Sebastian James
"Wonder tit power, activate!"
That's about all this project has going for it, the glorious power of implants. No talent, no brains, no damn money shots, and nary an ounce of natural mammaries in sight (well, save for a few girls who look like they're a few years shy of their 18th birthday, but an eyeful of those cuties will get you 20, so we don't count them).
Looking back over the past year, it's pretty safe to say that the original BLAIR WITCH PROJECT is the most parodied movie of all time. Never before has a film inspired such ridicule. Film quality ranges from moronic student productions to pseudo-humorous soft-core romps.
There was nothing remotely funny about THE BARE WENCH PROJECT. The same holds true for part 2. The movie is as brain dead as week-old road kill.
But you aren't watching a film called THE BARE WENCH PROJECT: SCARED TOPLESS in hopes of winning a Pulitzer. Chances are the last word in the title caught your eye, you pervert.
Let me tell you what you're in for, strippers wearing go-go boots and bikinis heading off into the woods looking for the cast of the first film. With them they bring all the necessities: lip stick, hairspray, chocolate syrup, and about 30 different erotic outfits. Who cares about poison ivy and mosquitoes as long as these girls look good in the morning.
The first film starred Nikki Fritz, Julie Smith, Julie Strain, and Lorissa McComas. This time only Strain and Fritz return. (Too bad, I've got a thing for McComas.) The batch of girls in part 2 are younger and more uninhibited, and minus any worldly common sense. When will filmmakers realize that a smart blonde in the woods is much more erotic than a dumb blonde in the woods?
You've got to wonder why the filmmakers bothered to use the Blair Witch premise; a straight posing video would have yielded more entertaining results. Hell, having my ass bit by a rabid raccoon would have yielded more entertaining results.
The biggest problem with the movie is the gals don't get a chance to "interact" with one another until just over the halfway point. Face it, the reason you watch films like this is the "interaction." At least when the action does start, it's chocolate orgies galore. I can live with a Nikki Fritz sundae. What about you?