THE BARE WENCH PROJECT 3

Written and Directed by Jim Wynorsky

Julie Strain
Julie Smith

I was ready to give THE BARE WENCH PROJECT 3 a completely scathing review until I recently watched MY VAMPIRE LOVER. While BWP3 is still a pretty lame attempt at erotic fun, it's at least shows some effort. An element not found the MVL. As a result, my review will only be mildly scathing...

If you've seen the first two BWP installments, then you've seen part three. The primary difference is the replacement of some secondary b-queen starlets. Julie Smith returns and takes center stages this time around replacing Nikki Cox - both of whom come across as being much more intelligent than the material they're given. Everything else is pretty much the same right down to the familiar nighttime Bare Wench dance, the lesbian trysts in the woods, and the rubbing-Hershey's-syrup-all-over-each-other-as-we-frolic-in-the-stream scene.

I was actually looking forward to that last one. I'm glad they brought it back.

I wouldn't mind movies like this is they didn't give shot-on-video productions such a bad reputation for amateurism. There's such little effort put into the storytelling of movies like this that I appreciate films like CLUB DEAD and INQUISITION so much more. Even some of the other socially conscious works from Seduction Cinema, such as THE EROTIC WITCH 3, put BWP3 to shame.

No matter how much I derail this movie, people will see it and I'll get a mountain of hatemail because I didn't get the joke. "It's just a silly b-movie meant to be harmless fun" people will tell me. It happens every time I post one of these things. Before you write in, let me save you some time by telling you that I do get the joke, it just isn't funny. And I like my girls natural. The smaller, the friendlier.

That being said, there are a few humorous moments found in BWP, my favorite of which has Julie Strain, aka The Bare Wench, playing a Bare Wench impersonator who recently underwent the sex change scalpel. She rattles off her dialogue in a mile-a-minute spurt with an accent that falls somewhere between East LA and West Brooklyne. It's one of those should-have-been-there moments that are beyond description.

Another positive in BWP3's favor is that you can pick this one off the pay per view tree and save yourself the embarrassment of actually renting it.

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