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THE CHRISTMAS SEASON MASSACRE
Produced by Jeremy Wallace and Mark W. Lettler
Directed by Jeremy Wallace
Written by Eric Stanze and Jeremy Wallace
Director of Photography - Todd TevlinOneshoe McGroo - Micheal Hill
Ernie - DJ Vivona
Dorcas - Jason Christ
Danny - Chris Belt
Boom Boom - Eric StanzeI don't understand why THE CHRISTMAS SEASON MASSACRE movie is getting so much good press. It's being heralded as a homage to the days of 1980's slasher flicks where you have teenagers running from the madmen with knives and chainsaws. The more popular films of the slasher genre, like the FRIDAY THE 13TH and HALLOWEEN franchises, can be fun for what they are, but the majority of the knock-offs just plain suck ass.
First off, THE CHRISTMAS SEASON MASSACRE is a parody of the slasher sub-genre, not an homage.Unfortunately, in today's day in age when even existing slasher parodies like SCREAM are themselves parodied in the likes of SCARY MOVIE, you kind of get the feeling that everything that can be said has been. What's worse is that THE CHRISTMAS SEASON MASSACRE is a parody that's neither fun nor funny.
The movie itself is so uninspired that I, as a critic, was left uninspired to review the work. It's been two months since I actually sat and viewed THE CHRISTMAS SEASON MASSACRE, and the best thing I can say about it is that I still remember the majority of it, which is more than I can say about most titles I review and actually enjoy.
It's possible this review wouldn't even be getting written now if it weren't for another improvisational film I recently reviewed titled GANG TAPES. THE CHRISTMAS SEASON MASSACRE has the look and feel of that let's-get-together-for-the-weekend-and-make-a-movie type of production, which from what I can gather from the commentary is exactly what happened. GANG TAPES shows what can be achieved when you care enough about the source material to the point where you have something to say about it.
Coming from the Wicked Pixel camp of moviemakers I expected more. These are the same people who gave us the brilliant movies ICE FROM THE SUN, SCRAPBOOK, and INSANIAC. Three very different films that have two important commonalities, they posses a keen insight into the various sub-genres they represent, and they are each able to maintain their own distinct voice. THE CHRISTMAS SEASON MASSACRE feels like there were too many cooks in the kitchen and each was trying to see who can spoil the broth first.
The characters are all painted in broad strokes, which is fine in and unto itself, this is after all a parody. Parody works on broad generalizations. It just so happens that none of the characters are given anything funny to do. The character frolic by the woods after the rest of their graduating high school class have all been offed by a one-eyed killer named Tommy. These people sit around and drink, all the time wondering when their turn at evisceration will come. For me, not soon enough since none of these people have anything interesting to say. At least there were a couple of hotties kind enough to keep their mouth's shut and their tops off.
Perhaps my sense of humor just doesn't gel with the filmmakers or those other critics. Like the dentists who choose Trident, 4 out of 5 internet reviewers can't be wrong, can they?
One thing I can say about early Sub Rosa DVD releases is that they packed the discs with loads of goodies. As was the case with EIGHT LEGS TO LOVE YOU, the DVD for THE CHRISTMAS SEASON MASSACRE is a presentation far better than it ought to be. There's the usual behind-the-scenes featurette, and trailers, some of which are hidden as easter egges, music videos, and expanded musical numbers. What really does THE CHRISTMAS SEASON MASSACRE in is the inclusion of a second shorter parody that is far more unique and visionary than the main feature, Frank Wank: The Vengeance, directed by Chris Grega.