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THE SEXY ADVENTURES OF VAN HELSING
Produced by Mike Raso
Directed by Max Von Diesel
Written by Bruce Hallenbeck and Helen Black
Edited by Brian McNulty
Director of Photography - John FedeleDracula - Darian Cain
Wilhelmina Van Helsing - Erika Smith
Philomenia - A.J. KahnTHE SEXY ADVENTURES OF VAN HELSING is a pseudo-sequel to Seduction Cinema's early release THE VAMPIRE'S SEDUCTION, and the new production is every bit as goofy and laughable as the first. And no, I don't mean that in a good way.
As you may of guessed, THE SEXY ADVENTURES OF VAN HELSING is geared to capitalize on the name of this fall's mega-dvd release of VAN HELSING, hence the reason it's not called THE VAMPIRE'S SEDUCTION 2. Since Tina Krause couldn't play Dracula this time around, Seduction turns to their comedic powerhouse Darian Cane, sex-cinema's answer to Lucille Ball. The plots of the two sex romps are identical, the lesbian Dracula wants some cutie pies and it's up to Van Helsing to help her out.
Simply put, the movie is boring, and that's the worst offense a sex-comedy can make against an audience. The jokes fall flat and the comedic scenarios never play out. Not even the always game, and lovably goofy, Darian Cain can find my inner funny bone and provide a chuckle or two. Thinking back, that was my biggest problem with THE VAMPIRE'S SEDUCTION, it was a comedy that wasn't funny.
But I bet you die-hard Seduction fans really want to know about the sex. Well, there's plenty of it, most of which appears to be coming from gals who are new to the stable of actresses. All of which are fairly attractive enough and fans shouldn't be displeased.
Sadly, new Seduction ingenue Erika Smith doesn't make with the goods. Just one moment of boob and that's it. If you've seen the Brett Piper horror comedy BITE ME!, you've seen more of Erika than you will in THE SEXY ADVENTURES OF VAN HELSING. That's a real shame too, she's a gorgeous gal with a smokin' bod. And like Darian, Erika has a wonderful eye for comedy (if only she were given something to work with). She's not afraid to be the butt of the jokes and gags. Gals like that go a long way with the fans.
Seduction Cinema titles are really hit and miss with me, at about a 50/50 split. The ones I find myself enjoying are the interesting ones from guys like Tony Marsiglia who are trying to give the sex a sense of context within the story and not make the sex the story. Those other movies, like this one, are just more of the same (in this one, they even use the same gag to end the film as in THE VAMPIRE'S SEDUCTION). Sure, the formula is a safe bet, but I can only keep repeating myself so many times. "Fans will enjoy it, every day Joe's most likely won't"
The DVD for THE SEXY ADVENTURES OF VAN HELSING will give that core group of fans their money's worth. It includes the out-of-print 1998 feature THE VAMPIRE'S SEDUCTION along with a commentary from producer Mike Raso. There's also a giant trailer vault with glimpses of upcoming releases and behind the scenes footage.