THE WITCHES OF BREASTWICK

Produced by Jim Wynorski Directed by H.R. Blueberry (a.k.a. Jim Wynorski) Tiffany - Monique Parent David - Matt Dalpiaz Rebecca - Glori-Anne Gilbert Lola - Julie K. Smith Felicia - Stormy Daniels

There's a book on my shelf titled FILMMAKING ON THE FRINGE that I haven't opened in 10 years. I went to it this evening to find a quote on director Jim Wynorski. You see, the only thing I remembered from this book during the last decade was the phrase "one of the worst directors ever" in reference to Wynorski. After going through Wynorski's profile, I was taken aback when I realized I'd been quoting text that doesn't exist. In fact, author Maitland McDonagh is somewhat complimentary of Wynorski's work by going so far as to say "that Wynorski is living proof that if you make enough movies, you're bound to get better at it."

I've seen Wynorski trashed all over the internet during the last few years, his work often called "braindead" and "lowest common denominator" by his attackers. For what it's worth, my youth is filled with memories of enjoying Wynorski's work, CHOPPING MALL and RETURN OF THE SWAMP THING both being especially fun. Wynorski's sole purpose as a filmmaker is to entertain, nothing more. He makes economical features that are specifically created to make a buck, and he's versatile enough that he can move freely between genres. And if he wasn't good at what he does, turning in marketable material, he wouldn't be making as many pictures as he does.

Please don't interpret any of this as meaning that his films are good in the traditional sense. I enjoy them, and find them competently well-made, but with the exception of the two previously mentioned titles, I'd never give any of his titles a second viewing. They are mindless formula that's best enjoyed when in the proper mind-state. Sometimes that means being in an herbal state of mind, other times that means enjoying the whims of libation. Either way, don't go looking at Wynorski's work trying to find the next DOCTOR ZHIVAGO. What you're more apt to find is the next DR. GIGGLES.

Of the work I've seen by Wynorski, he's always at his worst when he's making his softcore efforts, mainly because the lack of said effort. The theory behind them is that the boobs will sell and everything else is inconsequential. His BARE WENCH PROJECT movies are some of the lamest attempts at erotic comedy I've ever seen. Sure, the eye candy is as sugar-coated as it gets, but there's not a funny line in the series, nor are the girls allowed to show any real personality. To date, the only erotic film of his that I find somewhat appeasing is LUST CONNECTION, but that's only due to it's unapologetic treatment of the slimy male lead, and you don't watch skinflicks for the male lead....

THE WITCHES OF BREASTWICK is a delightfully funny title, and the movie itself could have been an expertly done erotic parody of the great Jack Nicholson comedy. Unfortunately, it takes a more serious tone in its dealings of three witches hellbent on using a married couple to bring their coven leader back from the dead through loads of heterosexual sex and lesbian hot tub escapades.

There's far less sex in BREASTWICK than there is in LUST CONNECTION, but that's the trade off when you have more story (and given the actual minuscule amount of story, it blows my mind that I just wrote that last sentence). Of the few erotic features from Wynorski that I've screened, BREASTWICK is by far the most ambitious in terms of what it's trying to do - tell a story.

To Wynorski's credit, he really knows how to photograph women in love scenes. Take Monique Parent, who at 40 years of age, has never looked more beautiful. Wynorski captures every finely-tuned curve of class and elegance. That being said, I don't believe Wynorski knows how to direct sex scenes. Do we really need to see the ladies look into the camera, obviously taking direction from Wynorski, and turn away? I'd always been taught that something like that was a bad take. Perhaps, when it comes to erotic features, Wynorski doesn't want to "get better," as McDonagh states, and focus strictly on the financial reward.

Wynorski has freely admitted over the years that he got into movies in order to meet girls and "get laid," and you can often find him on the internet bragging about his former girlfriends (and I don't blame him one bit). Knowing that little bit of information about Wynorski's lecherous side, his movies seem to disregard the institution of marriage. I have no idea whether Wynorski has ever settled down, as he never mentions it on the few DVD commentaries of his that I've listed to, but in his erotic work he has yet to positively reflect monogamy. In BREASTWICK, his happily married couple engage in frequent affairs with our witches. In LUST CONNECTION, the hero wouldn't even know the word monogamy if his wife used it to Bobbit his manhood. Even in the BARE WENCH series, the storylines revolve around the total disregard of heterosexual relationships in favor of homosexual (although, only in recent years, after the series started, are homosexual couples allowed to marry). Perhaps Wynorski doesn't like the idea of being tide down.

Seduction Cinema has done another bang-up job bringing THE WITCHES OF BREASWICK to DVD. The presentation includes a commentary by Wynorski and Gilbert, as well as another Peep Show clip and a trailer vault. Delivering their more-bang-for-the-buck policy, SC has included an older pre-digital SOV feature, VAMPIRE CALL GIRLS, which is notable for being of the few features to highlight Roxanne Michaels, now Jasi Cotten Lanier, in all her stunning glory. Nevermind that the movie is pure ( click here ), Roxanne/Jasi, one of the hottest gals to work in microcinema, makes with the goods.

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