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VAMPIRE TIME TRAVELERS
Produced by Raymond Storti
Written and Directed by Les Sekely
Director of Photography - Dennis DevineSue Anne - J.J. Rodgers
I'm convinced it's almost impossible to create an effective shot-on-video comedy. There's something about the shortcomings in the format that plague the movies with an extra level of cheese that undermines the jokes, and can only be overlooked with a thick set of beer goggles. This is true even in productions as slick and professionally put together as VAMPIRE TIME TRAVELERS from Unknown Productions, the collection of California-based film and videomakers who gave us VAMPIRE NIGHTS and CLUB DEAD.
J.J. Rodgers, who has a set of curly red hair so gorgeous that I can't help but get all Charlie Brown whenever I see it, plays Sue Anne, a pledge to Alpha Omega Sorority. It turns out that Sue Anne's older sister Buffy pledged the sorority years before and was forced to slay some vampire fanny. What goes around, comes around, and little sister is forced to pick up where big sister left off.
Les Sekely brings every sorority stereotype to the screen in an effort to put a smile on viewer's faces. Some of it works, some of it doesn't. Often, the jokes fall flat. Every now and then some truly funny humor can't help but shine through and make its presence known. My favorite running gag dealt with that man who lived in every child's closet. Eventually, he becomes attached to the children he scared the bejezus out of.
One gag that didn't work for me, which actually gave birth to the movie's tagline, deals with the strength of a newly revived vampire. According to this take on the legend, after a vampire his slumbered for ages it is too weak to bite a victim on the neck. The creature must get its fix from the butt of its victim. Yes, you read correctly, the vampire must bite the victim in the butt. Playing up the cheesecake factor, this element provides all the female exploitation one would expect. It also provides the phrase "bite her in the butt," which at one point is repeated so often it's set to music.
No, I didn't like that.
"Bite her in the butt" just isn't funny.
The bit with the tennis player getting her revenge with spiked tennis balls is funny, but "bite her in the butt" isn't.
Comedy is hit or miss anyway, and subject to the tastes and senses of humor of the audience. What makes one person laugh, and another cringe, is up to the individual viewer and can never be outguessed by the filmmaker. But if you never step up to the plate, you'll never hit a home run, and for that I applaud the filmmaker's attempt.
What I can't look paste is the construction of the movie which feels rushed in so many different ways. All the back story with Buffy is referenced in voice over, and there's a good deal of it. Too much in fact. Maybe if I had seen a movie with this Buffy character instead of having to only hear about her, I would have been able to appreciate the "what goes around comes around element" of the story.
At one point, the story seems to be leading towards a climax with a neighboring fraternity comprised of werewolves. During the movie's final moments this is all but dropped when a left-field Dues Ex Machina rears its head in the form of the title creature. There's no way of knowing if this frat party ever made it into the original script, but the omission feels like a cheat. The movie just stops and everything is happily ever after.
VAMPIRE TIME TRAVELERS feels rushed, and there's no way around it. Everything about it screams "professional", but I just can't shake the feeling that this was a weekend quicky designed to capitalize off the vampire fetish video market for a quick buck. After watching other movies from Unknown Productions, I know these guys can put more time and effort into their projects ensuring that they are done right.
There's always next time.