VAMPIRE WHORES FROM OUTER SPACE

VAMPIRE WHORES FROM OUTER SPACE
Produced by Chip Kunhavijit
Directed, Written, and Edited by Eamon Hardiman
Director of Photography - Drake Mallard
Kevin - Lance Steele
Dawn - Meghan McDonwell
Burt Fleming - Brian Gunnoe
Hank - Billy Dynamite
Mitchell - Diana Burton
Tate - Eamon Hardiman
When discussing Eamon Hardiman's VAMPIRE WHORES FROM OUTER SPACE with fellow no-budget filmmaker Chris Watson, Watson said "VAMPIRE WHORES is exactly what all these micromovies should be: smart, funny, and well shot. It was perfect." I don't exactly share the same level of enthusiasm for Hardiman's movie that Watson does, but I will say that it's by far Hardiman's best feature to date despite all the movie's shortcomings.
From the first minute viewers know they are in for something different as the opening line of dialog sets up the following 70 minutes of white trash rednecks doing battle with the undead. Within the next 60 seconds viewers learn just how politically incorrect Hardiman will sink as he resorts to foul racial stereotypes and imagery. Like the best anarchist comedies, VHFOS is an equal opportunity offender without a bone of decency to be found anywhere.
The title completely sets up the story by providing everything viewers need to know; vampire whores from outer space have landed in West Virginia and are out to suck their way through Charleston. It's up to a closeted sci-fi geek virgin and an ex-cheerleader junkie to send them packing. Neither back alley abortions nor anal leakage will stand in their way. But before the pair can best the alien vixens and their bubble-eyed pimp, they'd better brush up on their Dance, Dance Revolution.
If the movie sounds like a comic book, that's because it is. It's the same feel I got from Hardiman's last picture, CATHOLIC GHOULGIRLS, as well. There's something about Hardiman's snappy dialog and outrageous plots that rings of pure comic book pulp. Both GHOULGIRLS and VAMPIRE WHORES would probably work better as comic books in that the quicker pace would provide more punch. It would also provide Hardiman the opportunity to fully realize the scope of his vision, which is hampered by his nonexistent budget.
By making VAMPIRE WHORES a comic, Hardiman would have a chance to more efficiently explore a number of missed opportunities by developing various subplots, including one featuring Hardiman himself as Charleston's sleaziest corrupt cop. There's an entire other movie hinted at in a scant 30 seconds of dialog between Hardiman's Detective Tate and one of the vampires that details the last year of his life, and that story sounds far more intriguing than the picture made. It's a throwaway scene for a throwaway character, but hints at the making of a truely great anti-hero.
My problems with Hardiman's past work stems from his lack of filmmaking experience. He's a writer first and foremost, with a strong talent for comedy. As a director, Hardiman's skill always seemed limited to the point and shoot approach. Basics such as lighting and composition don't seem to matter. While Watson might have liked the look of VAMPIRE WHORES, which admittedly looks better than any of Hardiman's previous efforts, is still lackluster and bland. I keep waiting for the day Hardiman masters using a tripod.
But like fellow non-director Kevin Smith, Hardiman's strength is in the written word. Both possess a love of raunchy social satire that also parodies a cinemaphile's love for genre cinema. With VAMPIRE WHORES, Hardiman isn't exploring any new ground, the movie is the cinematic equivalent to New Orleans flooded with a post-Katrina boatload of cliches. But that's what parodies do, they take conventions that have become so common place as to become stereotypes. From there the filmmaker is supposed to find the humor in the shallow nature. Hardiman goes one up by making stereotypes fresh.
Hardiman's strongest assets are his anger at the world and the social satire that he's able to milk from it. He's the only man I know that cannot only make backalley abortions funny, but can also turn them into a running gag that provides more laughs with every reference. He's also not intimated to push the boundaries of good taste. Again, back to his abortion gag. Hardiman delivers all the foreseeable various on the gag until he takes to a point so extreme I found my mouth hanging in disbelief unable to laugh.
No, VAMPIRE WHORES FROM OUTER SPACE isn't as perfect as my friend led me to believe, but it does make for an enjoyable 80 minutes of microcinema that reflects the growing talent of Eamon Hardiman who is finally learning what it takes to be called a filmmaker.
The self-distributed dvd screener contained no features to review.
Vampire Whores From Outer Space
Razorsharp Productions