 |
 |
|
|
 |
 |
BLIND TARGET
I'm convinced Jess Franco is a tool of the devil. Franco's movie BLIND TARGET is a cinematic atrocity so painfully horrendous that it's most assuredly a sign of the upcoming apocalypse. Even for a Franco, this is one bad movie, perhaps the worst movie by the man that I've had the displeasure of suffering through just so you people don't have to. Talk about taking one for the team...this goes beyond the call of duty.
Produced by Kevin Collin, Karen Wong, and Peter Evanko
Directed by Jess Franco
Written by J. Douglas Foxworth and Kevin Collins
Edited by Guillermo A. Morales
Director of Photography - Emilio SchragorodskyCarly - Rachel Sheppard
Oliver Dennis
Lina Romay
Linnea Quigley
What is it that gives this guy his following? I don't care what The Golden Turkey Awards say about Ed Wood, Jess Franco gets my vote for worst director of all time. To prove my point, I'll put this flick up against PLAN 9 any day of the week. Franco's the only filmmaker I know who can take a vagina and make it feel uninviting. When I think of the sexuality in Franco's work, I want to do anything BUT touch myself...just looking at the screen makes me afraid I'll get herpes.
On the slim chance that he might actually read this, my apologies to Mr. Franco on being so harshly negative. My anger isn't so much aimed at him as a person as it is his complete contempt and lack of respect for his audience. I wonder when was the last time he actually TRIED to make a good movie. I'm told time and time again to experience your older work, but nothing released in the last few years makes me want to sacrifice the time to seek out those older titles. If anything, they give me an overwhelming desire to stick my head in a trash compactor and...
Now I need to apologize to you valued reader. This isn't the sort of review I'm known for writing. If you want blatant attacks on filmmakers and their work then you go to other sites from reviewers who are actually funny. You can laugh at those guys but with me you're stuck wallowing in my pain. And yes, BLIND TARGET, and action-thriller without action or thrills is pure agony.
Deciphering the story is something better left to scholars. You need the Rosetta stone for this one. Five years of Latin and I can make out something Carly, an expatriate of an unnamed South American country, returns to her roots for a book signing. Shit happens, people die, there's some gratuitous Franco sleaze, and some lame-ass kung-fu as Carly's exhusband pulls a deus ex machina and saves the day.
The production is marred by bad acting, sound, story, dubbing, editing, and direction. Again, I have to ask, did Franco even try to make a good movie? Did anyone involved in the production try? My, how long for the badness that was MARI COOKIE, at least that's Franco that didn't take itself too seriously.
The dvd presentation from Sub Rosa is far better than the movie deserves. There's a short behind-the-scenes featurette that could have benefitted from some focus and direction, a stills gallery, and a clip from the Spanish language version. Something credited as "deleted shots" actually works and a history of the production with a nice voice over that makes up for the lack of commentary.